Suidobashi, we have a giant robot, you have a giant robot. We both know what has to happen. With that, the challenge to a fight between the MegaBot Mark II from MegaBots Inc. and the Kuratas from Suidobashi Heavy Industry was established. We've been on edge for a week waiting for the Japanese response, and it finally arrived. Either the human race has taken the first step toward the End of Days, or it is the dawn of the most spectacular sport in written history, because one way or another, there will be a giant robot fight.
Good heavens. This has to happen. It will happen. If it doesn't, the whole world will unite in a cry of anguish and an unprecedented wave of fury. On one side, a giant American robot. On the other, a giant Japanese robot. And they must beat each other to a pulp. The essences of projects like Gundam, Patlabor, Transformers, Mazinger and Macross join the spirit of movies like Robot Jox, Real Steel and Pacific Rim. No one in their right mind can tease the world with a giant robot fight, and then not deliver. The creators of the MegaBot Mark II presented the challenge in late June. Patriotic songs, flags, giant weapons... it would be impossible to make that presentation more "American". Almost as if fate had decided to throw another log on the fire, the United States crushed Japan in the final of the Women's World Cup last Sunday 5-2, scoring four goals in the first 16 minutes of play. That same Sunday, Suidobashi responded with its own video...
Suidobashi's Response
"We cannot let another country win at this. Giant robots are part of Japanese culture." The tone was clear enough on its own, but Suidobashi decided to raise the stakes: "We really need hand-to-hand combat. I want to beat them until they are scrap metal." It would be better if they don't chicken out on the other side of the pond! Long-range weapons might be an option in future battles (obviously, one won't be enough), but in these coordinates of time and space, we want streams of oil flying, ripped-off arms, sparks, dents, and a legion of scattered parts on the ground.
The Combatants
The MegaBot Mark II weighs 5.44 tons, stands 4.5 meters tall, has tracks from a CAT 289c skid steer as feet, A36 steel legs, twenty hydraulic actuators, and a 24-horsepower Honda engine connected to a hydraulic pump. The cannon on its right arm fires six-inch paintballs at 210 kilometers per hour, while the left arm fires up to twenty 2.5-inch paint missiles at 240 kilometers per hour.
The Suidobashi Heavy Industry Kuratas weighs 4.49 tons, stands four meters tall, and has four legs with wheels at their ends, coordinated with thirty hydraulic actuators. Its power source is a diesel engine, and its main armament is an air cannon capable of firing up to 6,000 rounds per minute. The Kuratas is lighter and lower, but this makes it potentially more agile, and it only needs one pilot, whereas the MegaBot Mark II requires two in the cockpit.
Friends, I can no longer think clearly. Mayweather vs. Pacquiao was a $400 million scam, and Floyd just lost one of his titles at the desk. It's time to make room for the robots. There are many details to resolve, but it is supposed to happen within a year. We can't wait.
