Home Alone (also known as Mi Pobre Angelito in some regions) is a Christmas classic. As small screens across the world replay it, there's an interesting mental exercise we can do: How severe would Harry and Marv's injuries be in real life? A group of doctors came together to discuss them, and the result is overwhelming: Kevin McCallister is one of the worst monsters ever seen in cinema.
With nearly $500 million grossed on an original investment of $18 million, Home Alone became one of the biggest films of 1990, though many markets received it throughout 1991. Although it had to compete with heavyweights like Rocky V and Dances With Wolves, its "suitable for all audiences" profile gave it a certain advantage, especially so close to Christmas. 33 years later, Home Alone has not gone anywhere. It's almost always possible to find a repeat showing, to the point that we know the movie by heart. But if there's one thing we'll never forget, it's the extraordinary level of violence that little Kevin unleashes on Harry and Marv. Their injuries were notably softened, so the question is...
How bad would they have it if they suffered those injuries in real life?
A small group of health professionals came together to analyze several of the "events" that afflict Harry and Marv. In simple terms, they would never have made it out of the McCallister house. The air gun shot to the testicles equates to genital trauma, and in the worst case, a possible scrotal rupture. Marv's fall down the ice-covered stairs could lead to trauma to the lower chest area, severe damage to the lumbar region, bladder control issues, broken ribs, lung contusion, and kidney injuries. Harry's hand burn is so severe that he would need a skin graft.
The hot iron on Marv's face "only" shows a burn... that should have extended to his corneas, not to mention the damage from the impact. Nail in the foot? Blood loss, nerve damage, and something classic with metals: risk of tetanus. The blowtorch on the head translates to second or third degree burns, melted synthetic hat material stuck to the skin, and possible bone exposure.
Marv gets hit in the face again, this time with a paint can. Nasal fracture, eye socket fracture, multiple broken teeth, and the potential for internal hemorrhage that could put pressure on the brain... and kill him. Finally, the blow to Harry's chest with the crowbar gives us a broken sternum, with the possibility of puncturing a lung or the aorta. In summary: someone should put a straitjacket on Kevin McCallister.
