Loneliness can become the main objective of any person, or a chronic feeling that destroys mental and physical health. The difference between "being" alone and "feeling" alone is much greater than we imagine, and despite the notable technological advantages at our disposal, the net effect of loneliness is very profound. Any attempt to combat loneliness requires understanding it more thoroughly, and for that, nothing better than a new video from Kurzgesagt.
This topic has been covered on NeoTeo more than once. We already know that sleeping badly makes us more lonely, but many people out there still ignore that loneliness can be as harmful as smoking a pack of cigarettes daily. In some regions of the globe, loneliness is not only a chronic condition, but they have turned it into an industry. The clearest example is Japan, where contact and interaction are replaced with virtual assistants, personal capsules costing $7,500, or digital avatars that transmit touch. Now, it is evident that technology has done nothing to combat loneliness. Quite the opposite: Between mobile devices and social networks, the problem is getting bigger.
Loneliness and Its Effect on Us
There are also different myths associated with loneliness. One of the most frequent is that loneliness affects those who "don't know how to talk" with other people, but the concept of social interaction basically has no influence. In fact, loneliness has proven to be immune to hypothetical resistances such as money, fame, beauty, and personality. Why? Because it behaves similarly to a biological function (think of "hunger" or "sleep"). It is the body alerting us about our social needs.
In the past, natural selection favored cooperation and the creation of connections. The pain of loneliness is an evolutionary reaction to rejection, a warning to stop and modify the behavior that leads to isolation. However, social parameters have changed. Individualism gained traction, communities gave way to big cities, and times accelerated, but the alarm system is still there. Our bodies and minds have not changed much in 50 millennia, and they are optimized for social contact.
https://old.neoteo.com/las-personas-inteligentes-prefieren-pasar-mas-tiempo-solas/To this we must add the lethal component of loneliness. Above we talked about the comparison with a pack of cigarettes, but that is just the tip of the iceberg. Loneliness makes us age faster, the immune system loses effectiveness, cancer is more aggressive, and neurodegenerative diseases advance more quickly. The worst part is that once the chronic phase is reached, loneliness becomes self-sufficient. The pain of loneliness shares mechanisms with physical pain. Everything becomes a threat, seems dangerous or hostile, and at the same time we lose precision in interpreting the signals of others: We pay more attention, but understand less..
What is the solution? We must admit that it is not simple, but the first step to avoid a trap or escape from it is to recognize it. We fight with a vicious cycle: An initial feeling of isolation becomes sadness and tension, which make us focus more attention on the negative elements of our interaction with other people. That in turn deteriorates our thoughts about others and about ourselves. The defense against this is to avoid contact... which isolates us even more. The Kurzgesagt video suggests communicating our loneliness. Admitting that we feel alone and not being ashamed of it. As many deny it, loneliness is universal.
Another relevant point is to question our interpretations, because the tendency is to see negativity and aggression everywhere, when in reality they are not there. However, the video is right to indicate that introspection may not be enough, and this is when professional help intervenes. As Kurzgesagt says, seeking it is not weakness, but courage.
