The dark side takes over the intergalactic universe of Star Wars video games. Today we revisit the seven worst Star Wars games. Terrible nightmares that could turn Luke Skywalker himself into a Star Trek fan.
At the beginning of the year we said goodbye to LucasArts, the company that since the '90s has given us wonders based on Star Wars, like the glorious X-Wing, Jedi Knight, Battlefront and even the role-playing game Knights of the Old Republic. Today the Star Wars license belongs to Electronic Arts, and this company should learn from LucasArts' great games, but especially from its enormous number of failures, terrible ideas in the form of video games that we revive today so you can know the seven worst Star Wars games:
Star Wars: Masters of Teräs Käsi (1997) – PlayStation
The idea isn't bad, not bad at all: a fighting game between all Star Wars races set between Episodes IV and V. Han Solo vs Boba Fett, Chewbacca throwing a flying kick at Princess Leia, and Darth Vader grinding everyone with a lightsaber. What more do you want? And a good game wouldn't be bad. Masters of Teräs Käsi is a cheap Tekken that ruins every idea with slow attacks, extremely high difficulty, a ridiculous story, terribly unbalanced characters and forgettable graphics. Not even the inclusion of Leia in slave outfit saves it.
https://www.youtube.com/embed/n4g94y-rl1QStar Wars: Yoda Stories (1997) – PC and Game Boy Color
In the mid-'90s LucasArts' mandate was to make as many Star Wars titles as possible and make them for all audiences; there was Star Wars: Dark Forces for the most experienced players, Star Wars: Rebel Assault for movie fans, and in 1997 there was Star Wars: Yoda Stories, an infamous pseudo-game designed to be played on the desktop, like Minesweeper. Yoda Stories generated random missions, one like the other, and was more boring than grooming a Wookie. Unfortunately, two years later, an even worse version came out for Game Boy Color.
Star Wars: Rebellion (1998) – PC
With Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace we discovered that the most boring part of Star Wars is the long political deliberations and diplomatic discussions between planets whose names are impossible to remember or write with human letters. Star Wars: Rebellion confuses itself and seems to believe that what we like most about Star Wars is not the colored swords or spaceships but the heavy imperial strategy. In short, a StarCraft without charm.
Star Wars: Episode I – The Phantom Menace (1999) – PC and PlayStation
Star Wars game developers always seem to follow the same strategy: copy whatever is fashionable at the moment. And in '99 when The Phantom Menace came out, Tomb Raider was in fashion, and this game is exactly what you imagine. They made it without enthusiasm, rushed it, released it unfinished, and the final product takes the Golden Palm of the Hoth Festival, a special award for boredom.
Star Wars: Episode I – Battle for Naboo (2000) – Nintendo 64 and PC
May 19, 1999. A date that will live in infamy, since that's the day Star Wars: Episode I – The Phantom Menace premiered. We all saw it, nobody liked it, but they still released several games based on the movie, so many that they ran out of genres, and the last one is this curious piece of garbage that recreates the final battle of the movie but where we play as Lieutenant Gavyn Sykes instead of some of the few interesting characters from the film. But what sinks this piece of junk the most is that it's a version of the excellent Star Wars: Rogue Squadron with new models and an atrocious PC conversion, full of errors and pixelated textures.
Star Wars: Obi-Wan (2001) – Xbox
Who doesn't like shooting games? And who doesn't like Obi-Wan Kenobi? Well, it seems LucasArts didn't like him much, because between the first and second sequel it published this game that answers the question all fans were asking: What was Obi-Wan doing the week before Star Wars: Episode I – The Phantom Menace? The answer is even more boring than the question, unless you're entertained by wandering through huge empty levels with graphics that look like they come from the worst Tomb Raider clone on Nintendo 64.
Star Wars: Bounty Hunter (2002) – GameCube and PlayStation 2
We all love Boba Fett, how could a game starring Boba Fett be bad? Oh, no, the protagonist is Jango Fett, Boba's dad, who appears about two minutes in Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones. And for clones, nothing worse than this cheap Tomb Raider copy that runs at about 8 frames per second with absolutely static animations. Some of the worst Star Wars seen on GameCube and PlayStation 2.
These are the seven worst Star Wars games. If you've never played them, you've been warned. Now, if you've had the bad luck to play them, it's always good to wash out the taste with excellent games like the frantic Star Wars: Battlefront and the role-playing games Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic. And for you, what are the worst Star Wars games?
